I have now been a mother for 7yrs, and I class or lecture or book can prepare you for the tornado of shit that hits your life.
Before I had faith I was a very calm person never shouted at anyone always resolved situations logically, I was a pro at my own life…but you give me someone else’s life, a tiny blob that cannot talk and cries at you all hours of the day! Well I was fucked!
As faith grew up I began to understand her temperament, her persona her personality she was behaving and I was feeling like she was my little side kick! We got on so well…but then she would do something so gregarious it would shock me and mother mode would kick in and I’d have to shout at her and send her to bed…that mode of friendship shifted to rapidly I didn’t even have time to think…
I went from Friend to mum mode in a split second that when I eventually calmed down I thought “what the fuck has just happened”
The whole situation is pretty fucked up really when you come to think about it! I mean you can’t be your kids friend and have a laugh and share things and really make an effort to then turn around in a split second and shout at her for doing something so daft or stupid! So where can we keep that even balance of friendship and mothership and not have the child hate you! I crept into faiths room and took her little hand and I explained that the only reason I shout is because I care for her wellbeing and that I shout out of shock or been scared because I don’t want to lose her from my life…
So when I shout at her it’s purely out of love and worry, and that she should never take our friendship for granted and think she can get away with things because I’m here to guide her through this harsh life and you don’t bite the hand that feeds you..
I explained that analogy to her she understood, but it all comes down to communication and not a lot of parents are good at talking, and this is where faults begin and a structure built will fall fast and becomes utter chaos.
So my answer to find a balance between friendship and mothership is all about communication lay your rules out on the ground for your child to understand, let them know that you are there guide in life and not to disrespect your kindness and love because there is only one of you.
Always communicate at every turn and have your child understand that you love them no matter what, and you too as a parent will have your bad days.